Prayer number 47 in the Book of Common Prayer is labeled simply “For Young Persons.” It begins by reminding God about the little children growing up in a chaotic and confusing world. Then it asks for strength, faith, and joy for those little ones. But my favorite part is when it reads, “Help them to take failure, not as a measure of their worth, but as a chance for a new start.”

I love that. I need that myself.

I know I make my fair share of mistakes. Possibly a tad bit more than my fair share. For the most part, I’ve learned not to let that be a measure of my value. When I mess up, it doesn’t define who I am. Usually, I can just shake it off and move on with life. This can be harder when the mistake seems to be linked to a part of my identity.

For me, some of my deepest regrets are when I messed up as a parent. As a mother. When I lost my temper and snapped back. When I was too busy doing my own homework to stop and play a game. You parents know what I’m talking about. Those little decisions that you look back on and wonder what you were thinking. Or why you weren’t…

But I can’t change yesterday. So my focus is on what I can do with my actions and reactions today.

A couple of years back, the buzz words in my school district were ‘growth mindset.’ The focus was on using the word ‘yet’ (I can’t do that yet. I don’t know that yet, etc.) and on turning mistakes into growth opportunities. We were to celebrate the failures because they became object lessons and chances to learn something new. This had two goals: 1) it turned failing into learning and 2) it took away the fear of failing. When students aren’t afraid to make mistakes, they can become risk-takers and creative thinkers.

So that’s become my goal. Instead of fearing failure, I learn from it and I grow.

But this prayer takes it another step further.

Not only are failures growth opportunities. They’re also fresh starts. Instead of keeping score, a failure wipes the slate clean. Start over. Learn from the mistake and then choose to go a while new direction if you’d like. You don’t need to be held back, trying over and over and over and over, just because you failed at something. Let the past go and make the best choices you can right now. 

Here’s the whole prayer. I’m praying it for you.

“God our Father, you see your children growing up in an unsteady and confusing world: Show them that your ways give more life than the ways of the world, and that following you is better than chasing after selfish goals. Help them to take failure, not as a measure of their worth, but as a chance for a new start. Give them strength to hold their faith in you, and to keep alive their joy in your creation; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.”

For Young Persons  Prayer #47 in the Book of Common Prayer