The other day I read a bumper sticker that proclaimed: "Real women like football." Now I've tried to like football many times over the years. I've gone to high school games and watched Super Bowls on TV. I learned the rules in gym class and even played a few games with friends. But no, I don't like football.

Does that mean I'm not a 'real' woman?

Now, I know I'm over thinking a bumper sticker. It was probably just a phrase that some woman who loves football felt a connection with and stuck on her car. Maybe it was a gift from a friend, or even a joke. It wasn't meant to denigrate us non-sports people in any way.

The simplest response would have been to read it, dismiss it as irrelevant to myself, and move on.

Instead, I began to wonder.
What is a 'real' woman?

I thought about being teenager, dealing with the typical angst of growing up. Trying to decipher who I was and decide who I wanted to be. Only beginning to understand what it meant to be a woman instead of a little girl and being both excited and scared about the process. I wondered what kind of woman I would become.

I thought about being a young mom. Exhausted from lack of sleep, but with a heart almost bursting from the sheer joy of holding my little baby. Juggling work, motherhood, and housekeeping. Organizing play dates and baking pizzas. Scheduling doctors appointments and reading Dr. Seuss. Life was full, busy, rewarding, tiring, and beautiful. I loved being me.

Then I thought about being in the midst of cancer treatments. Tired and nauseous. Bald from chemo, scarred from bilateral mastectomies. Some days I would turn away from the mirror sadly and wonder if I was still a woman. It took years to fall in love with myself again.

Then I remembered when my daughter began her own journey toward becoming a woman…

At the end of this emotional roller coaster of thoughts and memories, I was no closer to answering to the question: What is a real woman?

Then I realized that I could look at the question from a different direction.
Maybe it's 'real' as in 'true'. Maybe a real woman is simply a woman who is true – to herself and to others.

Maybe a real woman is one who takes the time to get to know herself. Who finds out what she likes and what she doesn't like. Who discovers what she's good at and who she enjoys spending time with.

Maybe a real woman is one who is faithful. Who does what she says she'll do and avoids what she says she'll avoid. Who keeps a promise made and doesn't make a promise she can't keep. Who sticks by you through thick, thin, and mediocre.

Maybe a real woman is one who admits when she can't keep going. Who'll ask for help when she needs it most. Instead of faking it, or trying to be better than the next-door neighbors, she'll let herself be herself.

And there it is. I think that's what a real woman is.
A real woman is simply herself.

Whether she likes football or not.