I was clicking through files on my computer today, thinking about how I really need to reorganize them. I have a tendency to save everything on my desktop until it starts to look cluttered. Then I make a couple of folders and slide everything into them. Sometimes, I even make folders to slide those folders into. I use all of those folders for a while, but it takes longer to find things – and it's a pain to search for the right place to save a new document into, so I just end up saving things to my desktop again. At one point, I ended up with three different folders labeled 'writing' all tucked into other folders scattered throughout the memories of my computer. Which explains why I was clicking through files on my computer today – I have no idea what's tucked away in each of them.

In a folder labeled 'my stuff,' I found another folder labeled 'writing.' Inside that, I found a file named 'Bucket List.' Intrigued, I clicked it open. This was my bucket list for 2018:

publish a book
climb two mountains in one day
walk across a frozen lake
road trip somewhere new
walk 2018 miles
plant a tree
get my doctoral proposal approved and begin my study

After a bit of introspective self-inventory, I discovered that I was able to cross five items off that list. (For the curious: I didn't plant a tree, and though I did climb two mountains on two consecutive days, I didn't climb two in a day. And yes, I'm talking about Massachusetts mountains here, merely foothills to my cousins out west).

Here was my bucket list for 2019.

Get my doctorate
Plant a flower garden

Sadly, that year I only achieved 50% of my goal. I just don't have a green thumb.

Apparently, I never got around to writing a bucket list for 2020. But in all fairness, I really didn't have enough creativity to make an informed and pertinent list. Seriously, who would have thought in January, that it would have been at all realistic to put "Sleep late and wear pjs all day for six months straight" on their bucket list? But now I know it's totally doable…

If I'd known the future, what else would I have put on my bucket list for 2020?

Drive to North Carolina to spend some time with my daughter
Eat at the China Buffet for lunch, then Golden Corral for supper
Give my students one more group bear hug

But I didn't know the future. I don't know the future. And judging by how 2020 has been going, that's a very good thing. I don't really want to know what's coming down the pike. Dealing with today is more than enough for me, thank you very much. But I don't want to spend today sitting around and wishing that things were the way they used to be. I want to enjoy today to the fullest extent possible. Not cringing in fear of tomorrow. Not lost in regret of yesterday. But living here and now in today.

Ok. One more list:

Finish reading all the Amelia Peabody novels in chronological order
Eat dumplings and cheddar at the apple orchard
Video call with my daughter
Make s'mores by the firepit

Those are my plans for this weekend. Maybe I'll reorganize my files next week…