9:30 a.m. I read through the professor’s comments of my last draft in preparation for editing it and writing a new draft. I also checked my Facebook account, sent a couple of texts, and read a few emails. I redesigned a couple of the tables in my paper, too. And watched a couple of short videos…

11:30 a.m. I’m at that stage of paper writing where I pretty much have to take a break and reward myself for every paragraph written and bribe myself to write another. This stage was much more fun back when I could eat sugar. It’s like pulling teeth to focus – I’m actually writing this note in a notebook with my computer on my lap opened up to the paper that I’m supposed to be working on.

Sigh.

So this is how it feels to be a second grader learning vertical form subtraction with regrouping across zeros…

1:30 p.m. The dishes are done. Tomorrow’s lunch is made. I baked a loaf of bread and made a batch of chocolates. I found a great new recipe: coconut oil, almond butter, maple syrup, and cocoa powder. Even my dad said they tasted good. Um, my paper? Ok, ok, ok. I’m opening my laptop now.

3:30 p.m. I’m finally up to date on reading all my emails. I checked Facebook, too, just in case someone is trying to reach me. Hmmm. Maybe I should check my email again…

5:30 p.m. I finally found my groove and typing furiously while the cats are stepping across the keyboard and sitting on my chair back to remind me to feed them before they starve. Unfortunately, supper will be late today.

7:30 p.m. Hitting save and send, uploading my latest draft. I close my laptop and head upstairs to feed the hungry cats and make myself a bowl of rice and broccoli. It always feels so good to finish a draft. I love the sense of accomplishment when I’m done. The way the weight lifts off my heart. It feels like I’m coming up from underwater and can look around, relax, and breathe.

It’s just the getting started that I have so much difficulty with. Taking that first step is hard, and the longer I put it off the harder it gets and the greater the anxiety laying around my heart. You’d think I’d learn.

9:30 p.m. Celebrating a job well done with a piece of homemade chocolate and a good book.